Not Okay

My ego took a good unneeded hit recently and I find myself struggling to stick it out till the emotion passes and I grow more confident from it. It's always the same. Either run and hide and watch my life become empty, or relish the growth and be better and sweeter for it. It's a tiny block from the iceberg that will surface on here but the song that fed my heart today for comfort has fed it before and I'd like to keep it here in my archive.

My Precious

I never thought I would find anything to relate to with the villainous characters in The Lord of the Rings, but here we are folks. It has been over a week since I last saw my promise ring and I am going near insane with anxiety over its possible whereabouts and how it escaped me. Where is it?!!! Don't be surprised if you find me living under a mountain somewhere with all my hair fallen out. Or, just be careful if you find me giving nine rings away to power seeking men. Though I'm desperate for a search party I think I'll still need someone to keep me accountable from creating Ring Wraiths.

That pretty horse is Smokey, the desert version of Shadowfax.

Who do I blame? My arch nemesis...

If she thinks she's taking it to Mount Doom to destroy me she's got another thing coming.

Oh and PS: By "lost it" I mean literally misplaced it.
PPS: Can you tell what book I've been reading?

The Good Life

Today was an efficient day.
I met with a familiar nursing school friend, named "Just Kidding", who immediately took the wind out of my sails for my hoped for soon entry into the nursing program. Try as I may to keep my expectations to a bare minimum in thinking that I might just see the starting line (not the finish...the starting) only to find I am always a year away from ever hearing that pistol fire. Oh well. Once I actually become a nurse it will be something else that I am waiting on so, whatever life looks like now is the rest of it. And it doesn't look too shabby. Home I drove to the Sherlock Holmes soundtrack, feeling at peace despite my dissappointment, thinking about life and how predictable it is in its unpredictability. Which leads me to why I loved today.
So we hate the in house bugs, the crickets, roaches, scorpions, etc. but call us wretched if ever a lizard escapes our notice without possessing our full blessing on it to have a full life (with lots of bugs to eat). So imagine our dismay when such a lizard lay trapped in one of our bug motels, who's death is sticky beyond belief. Breathing shallowly with its eyes closed in accepted defeat our sympathy moved him to our top priority. Out came the scissors, q-tips, goo-be-gone, business cards, pencils and kleenex to rush to his aid. Boy was that guy stuck and the more time we spent with him the more we fell in love as hope returned to his little reptile body, breathing increasing in full and his eyes opened with ambition as he realized each little limb was being freed.... very slowly. No skin was hurt, no finger missing, we worked for half an hour till finally mom cradled his newly freed self in her hands and rinsed him clean.
So what did I do today that made today worth enjoying? I saved a lizard from a hopeless grave :) and if such empathy from a selfish human can be given to an insignificant lizard, how does God feel about me? How does He feel about us?

Breathing free

Look at his pretty coloring and his sleepy eyes!

And look at him springing to life and giving me a heart attack and almost breaking my camera

Released and soaking in the sun :)

Kindred Spirits

Since 1987

I've known these kids since before my memory kicked in, (which was pretty late but that doesn't matter)  and man do I love them. When you're young and you have a strong sense of true friends you hope it only gets better as the years bring on the change. And though our times together look nothing like the dirt clod wars and alternate imaginative or post-apocalyptic stories we pretended I can say it has indeed, gotten better.
Why?
Because we went through salvation together and that bond is stronger than childhood. Phew! Jesus glue is more binding than memory glue. I'm glad He is so giving, nostalgic and sentimental. I'm so glad I can look at each of these people and see them as I remember them as they talk about their grown up woes, joys and jokes (that still make me laugh like nothing else can).

Classic

Painted for a Morning :)

I'm in love. Oh so in love with color. How in the world can it produce so much beauty?? Which leads to my next question: How in the WORLD do the Indians do it? Asia has got something on color, and I'm just happy they share it. 

So with failed plans of a personalized Holi Festival last year, naturally we jumped at the chance to get a sort of modified Phoenix version. Ladies and gentlemen, The Color Run. It's a simple 5k "run" and at every kilometer you go through a color zone in which you are painted with holi powder. So many stinkin' people came but I guess that also adds to the "Indian Festival" experience. My sister, family friend and I were unsuccessful in finding the rest of our team (seriously, the crowd was natural disaster size) but in the end we met with success after calling for them via microphone on the stage and reveled in our painted Avatar glory :) I have never felt more like running wild screaming "Broowaa!" in my life. Goodness knows what an actual Holi Festival would do to us.

Yes I did.


Due to potent powder's ability to ruin technology I opted to leave my camera at home and save its use for the aftermath.

The Color Run, Tempe

January

My world has felt so small this month with the working of school, the new year, and preparations for my best friend's wedding in March that it has felt like it's packed a year's worth of events into a condensed 4 weeks or so. How timely our reunion then! The Toth cousins came to broaden our borders and to have them leave is a sad thing.  Especially since we hit a bizarre wave of spring weather and it's left with them. Though an early tease it was welcomed  to encourage our plans of outdoor adventures with zoos, wildlife parks, hiking, sling shots, archery and rock climbing. Not to mention the multiple movie viewings each and every night. I love family reunions :)

What doesn't make me happy? My sister's cat continues to prove to me that in my attempt at living vicariously through her in owning a feline I am forever thanking God that mom kept me from commiting myself to such an animal. Whether it be Tzeitel's innocent curiosity in smearing herself against a freshly painted wall, chewing on a set of shelves I'm attempting to put together, or her out right brattish antics of stealing my face scrubber from my sink and hiding it under the dining table, jumping on my face in the morning and/or attacking me at random around each corner. Life just wouldn't be normal without an arch nemesis and Tzeitel has graciously offered herself up as mine. It's a love/hate relationship. And don't worry, there isn't a fight we face that isn't resolved by the end of the hour... and then reconvened.

From arch nemesis to soul mate, somehow this creature makes my most miserable hours of school work into the best of memories. She spent 24 hours straight with me as I crammed 5 weeks worth of statistics and math homework and studying into a few days. We broke briefly for her to go out and eat or whatever dogs do outside, but I ate, worked, cried, spaced out and slept in that room with her ever snoring and twitching (she's been dreaming a ton lately) self as my moral support. It's such a comfort to have someone pass through an all-nighter with you and still be ready for round two. So really, it's been 48 hours.
I like her :)
Math has me beat. I can sigh now and turn my mind to writing papers for today I made a pitiful attempt at finals. Will the grades suffice? ...Isn't that always the question?