Saturday, September 8, 2012

Precious Indeed

In that moment He impressed the truth, "Circumstances do not prove I am trustworthy. My trustworthiness is proved despite your circumstances."

For some reason I wish I knew the formula for for the next time I'm desperately searching for something, I have finally found my promise ring. Missing since February, seven months later, seven months of despair, frustration, dreams of finding it, blahblahblah... Thursday was finally the day for the dreamed for breakdown. 
In the process of getting ready for the day I went into a jewelry box that I've been in countless times when looking for this ring. I swear I had torn apart every box (this one included), pocket and dusty corner and never saw it anywhere.  So this day I was completely caught off guard to find it laying safe inside. Shocked really. Shocked in that overwhelming relief and humility when your hope in God is proven trustworthy, even over so small a thing, and you're ashamed you even doubted. 

 My dad's conviction of its impending return was proven true. This one is mine, and has collected even more meaning than it already came with. It is precious to me indeed. 

But even more than this ring, God has become more precious. Still wrestling with Him in this new uncomfortable season, I'm surprised this reunion was not the climax or proof of love I was looking for. It is merely because He chose to. Merely because He let me have it back. And He didn't have to. That's the revelation. God is not obligated to give me everything I ask for. Him saying "no" is not against His goodness. And Him giving this back is humbling. To be honest I almost feel aweful for the tantrums I threw if it weren't for His sweetness that makes this kind of humility exactly what I crave. Phew!!

A classic song. It never gets old. 

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